I'm starting to understand what it actually means when we say 'Patience is a virtue' but the process of me coming to understand this has been frustrating, this already shows there's room for improvement in understanding this virtue but it does not mean that my patience, or rather this virtue, is not improving! The evidence I have to support my claim arises not only from the last 4 months of playing the waiting game for this surgery but mainly from a phone call I received Friday night.
After going through the complicated and confusing process of confirming the operation I was set to head out with some dear friends for dinner and go to a gig. I was already running late, pretty common practice, but as I was just about to leave I answered a ph call from an Unknown number. I don't like answering ph calls from unknown numbers and in the space of 10 minutes I received about 7! Four of these came when I was not close enough to my ph to hear it and as no voicemail was left there was nothing I could do. I ignored the next 2 but then caved the next time and answered the call. I could tell the patience of the the person on the other end was wearing thin as they did not bother to tell me where they were calling from and with almost a sigh of relief informed me 'I've been trying to get in contact with you'. I knew who it was.
They postponed my surgery! I was/am so frustrated. All of this emotional readiness seemed to become insignificant! When I hung up the phone whatever I was holding in my hand, I think it was my mascara, landed on the bed with a significant amount of force behind it. I'm helpless! It's not my fault that it's postponed, there's nothing I can do to change the situation. What I can and have to do is wait again, or to phrase it differently, remember that I'm still working on this virtue of patience.
The food, friends and music on Friday night helped me relax and as I did relax I surrendered to the fact that life goes on. This acceptance doesn't mean that I'm fine with the fact that surgery plans are in holiday mode but overall the truth is I am fine! I'm not going to drop dead tomorrow, unless God has other plans.
I was quite frustrated and feeling sad for myself last night so I watched mind numbing reality tv on Foxtel. I actually enjoyed the couple of shows as they were about food. I'm hopefully going to do lots of baking, I love baking, during my time off. Last night I discovered how brandy snaps are made! Can't wait to have a crack, or should I say snap, at them.
Although the baking shows inspired me to bake in the coming months a few other things were annoying me when I went to bed. I woke up this morning to find this quote on fb!
'In our own case we accept excuses too easily; in other people's we do not accept them easily enough.' CS Lewis
Another virtue relates to this quote and this too needs to worked upon.
Sick of the iPod blogging now. Wait what was the focus of this post?!
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