It's time!

I'm not lying when I say the last few days have been hard. I have cried, I have been really angry a few times, I am generally scared and had a few yucky "what if" moments but I think that's all normal.

Tomorrow is the day (refer to previous posts if you're not sure what I'm talking about). It's almost 11pm and I've set my alarm for 5:30am. I'm feeling ok. I'm not feeling great, I'm definitely not excited but I WILL BE OK! Yes I say this with passion. Why? Well, today when people have said to me 'I hope it goes well' I have replied 'It WILL'. because I have been reminded of Mark 11: 24 ' Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe you have received it and it will be yours.' so what so you think I have been praying for and what does this verse mean for me right now? It means that all will go well. Now I'm def not the best when it comes to talking about my faith and I know many of you who may read this may not have faith in Christ but I wanted to point something out. I have heard so many times people say to me "you are so strong, you are so brave, I couldn't hold myself together like you are etc etc" but I confess that it is not my personal strength that is getting me through this time but my strength that comes from my faith in God. Without this, I would not have been able to get out of bed every day over the last few months. Don't get me wrong, there has been times when all I have wanted to do, or actually done, is shake my fist at the heavens in anger but that does me no good. I have no control over the world or what happens but I have faith in God and need to remember that God  'commanded [me] to be strong and brave. Don't ever be afraid or discouraged! [for He] is the Lord [my] God and will be there to help me wherever [I] go.' Johsua 1:9. Is that mindboggling? Does that seem just weird? Yes! Will I fail at what I am told to do? From time to time yes I will, but God's love is unfailing, honestly.

Just before I started finishing this blog I started listening to a Podcast about healing and this verse was referred to. I find it rather fitting.

3 John 1:2

Dear friend, I’m praying that all is well with you and that you enjoy good health in the same way that you prosper spiritually.

This song has helped me sleep lately. I will play it as I turn off the light shortly.I find the story behind this song so moving, perhaps you will too.

Now it's almost 12!

Night x

Oh and here's another song that has helped me... because I can share it!