Red Bull does not give you wings!

'So we will steer clear from radiotherapy and chemo for the time being'* 'PARDON' (says the voice inside my head). 'The scans show no change so that's great but will we be monitoring you continually.'

So as you may have gathered from that introduction I saw my neurosurgeon on Tuesday. As usual when I got to the clinic it was jam packed, but only in the section next to the desk, but down the corridor all of the seats were empty and the TV was off. So I wandered down to the end of the corridor, switched on the TV, chose the channel I wanted to watch and turned up the volume so it was audible. As a regular visitor I thought I may as well use the most of what was on offer. Anyway after another 2 hours of waiting to see my amazing Dr. I was finally called into his office. On the MRI report notes he had V.Good written, that was so beautiful to read! The fact that he mentioned radio and chemo therapy again startled me a bit. He had told me last time that it was off the radar but on reflection he didn't say I would never have to have either or both of these treatments. Next MRI is scheduled in 9 months. How on earth are you meant to choose a date that is suitable nine months in advance when you don't even know what you're doing in the coming week? Oh the joys!

Just as I was about to leave I asked whether or not I could go skydiving and bungee jumping. His facial expression showed concern yet, and I will make this well known to my mother that his answer was not a 'no'. He told me he wouldn't recommend it due to those bloody things called seizures, even though I haven't had one in over 4 years but really in the end it's my decision. So what do I do? Take a risk? Live a little? Or do I sit back and watch life go by? We also talked about reducing my medication but that means giving up driving for 3 months and if I have a seizure in those 3 months then we go back to square one. Sometimes it feels like a never ending cycle of down-heartening rules that I need to live by. He then went on to say 'I know we've got you wrapped up in cotton wool but...' In a way I was relieved to hear my surgeon say this because it kind of gave me a bit of justification for those moments when I actually feel trapped by so many things that my condition (terrible word) does to me. No this, no that, minimise this, maximise that. Oh well I'm still here!

I did have a migraine that day, it's the anxiety, the tension the uncertainty of what you will hear when you walk through that door and sit on that uncomfortable chair.

So in summary, even though I had a great night last night sitting on the banks of the river Torrens with some friends listening to The Rolling Stones playing at the Adelaide Oval I'm a bit flat today and you know what, that's OK, because as it is well known by many unless you have these crappy days you don't cherish the good ones.

In other news I currently have clinomania!

*Or something to that effect

What now?

It's 10:40pm Sunday night! I've been in hospital for almost 2 weeks today. The first week I was so out of it but i'm alive. I haven't posted for almost 2 weeks but I have made it through the biopsy! I don't think the next few posts will be that long. I've thought about blogging for a few days but I couldn't type more than 1 SMS then feeling I needed a rest. 

I'll just try to keep everyone up to date with results on the biopsy etc. At the moment I don't have any results to share but I have been on a restricted fluid diet intake. The first 3 days I was on 750 ml fIuid (all fluid) and am now on 1000ml!  I'm hating this, it's really tricky. There's  numerous reasons as to why this is the case but I'm hoping tomorrows test results let me increase my fluids again.

That's really the smallest of my woes at the moment but it's not helping me. It's really hard to not just go a drink a big glass of water when that's all you feel like going to do. In the long run it will take a lot longer to get back to better health if I just do what honestly feels best for me but so far so good.

That's it for now. I've got to see about 14 specialists tomorrow and see what happens this week. I'll let you know! Try to get some shut eye amongst the snorers now! 

This photo was taken just over a week ago! Yeah not that cool!

Tonight the moon so bright you could drive with your headlights out!

Hear me out!
I was awake until just after 2 am last night/this morning. There were numerous reasons as to why, none of which we will go into detail about now. As I lay there I was thinking, 'I wonder if this album I have pre-ordered will download now', as its release date was today. I gave it a go. Fail! Our country is so bloody massive it had to be 23/8/2013 all across OZ. Unfair! I eventually fell asleep, all be it for less than 4 hours. Speaking of country, this album has a bit of a country feel to it. Not every song but there are a few that stand out. So yes you've probably cottoned on that this really will be a blog about my thoughts on this album. John Mayer's newbie Paradise Valley. Frankly I don't really care anymore what people think when I tell them my favourite artist is John Mayer. I usually get an 'oh hahaha response' and I know some people find it weird because I don't listen to commercial music (much) and they certainly don't play John on Triple J, in fact I've heard them pay him out before, but that's cool, they're still alright! I must be honest but the first time I heard John was back in 2002 and I HATED his music, well the one song I had heard. This song is the one most people think of when they hear his name, 'Your Body is a Wonderland'. I think I hated it because all of the "popular *coughsplutterskankscoughsplutter* girls at school liked it. Still don't know why that turned me off of it, my friends didn't dig it either.

I found myself in Borders one day, yeah good ol Borders books and music, and as I quite frequently did, stood there and listened to the whole album. Next thing you know I was in love. At first my family was into his music, I don't play it as loud as I used to because now they have had enough of him. Dad still has respect for his music and I know that deep down so does my brother, as he is talented, not a biased perspective at all. Dad took me to his gig a few months later. It was great but I secretly wanted to be down the front screaming with all the other teenies, even though it was a seated show. My time came for that again, twice actually, one time I was in the 3rd row. That show deserves a book not just a blog post, but I don't have time for that, sorry to disappoint.

Well after all the lead up to this review I won't do I'll just put it out there that I won't be doing an indepth Rolling Stone addition but just make a few points. The opening tune, Wildfire, is good, fullstop. It's got a bit of country feel to it, but it's catchy and sweet. Paper Doll was released as a single earlier this year. This song is probably the closest to his old style, simple, I'll put it in the Continuum category. The videoclip for this, only John Mayer can get away with. I'll post it and then you might get why he's the only one that can get away with it. I think it's because of his supposed carefree atitutde. Track 6, oh dear track 6! It's a beautiful love song BUT Katy perry you RUIN the end/almost the whole song for me because of that stupid giggle you do at the end. Now I've never hated Katy, she's alright and considering John and her are a couple it's fair enough they did this track together but that ending is surely her idea and it's terrible. WHY did you fall for this John, why?! I'm thinking this is an advertising thing, works for both of them, well more for Katy fans really. Other die hard John Mayer fans probably feel the same way as I do, unless they are also a die hard Katy fan as well. It's just way off track, even the song with Taylor Swift on Battle Studies works better. But having said that it's not my least favorite on the album. At the moment that is Track 5. Track 7, possibly a tear jerker, beautiful! Track 8 presents us with Frank Ocean. I swear that man canNOT sing live but I'm digging this song, the whole 1:26 of it. Don't really know why, I'm thinking it may wear off on me. After this, the catchy upbeat hillbilly sound returns and it's needed after the previous tracks but then we head back into the slow, solemn and mellow sounds. He ends it nicely, it's not depressing, not too much chingy changy country, just a  well placed track.

I have often thought it would be a difficult job to order tracks. If you think about it, you don't want all the happy  songs  at once followed by all the sad songs otherwise your upbeat mood will just drop but then if you put all the sad, melancholic songs first then come the upbeat songs can you concentrate on the positive aspects of them? Being a "deep thinker" I think I would love such a job yet it would probably drive me mad!

This album gets 4/5!

Here's Paper Doll for you.

On another note, I spent over three hours at the hospital today. Had 7 tubes of blood taken! I'm alright, trying to stay postive. I'm loving how I'm writing about visiting the hospital yet many people who may read this, be they "friends" or not will have no idea why I visited the hospital. Weird, possibly twisted, I know, but come on everyone loves a bit of suspense Actually I think I'm still just too scared to share the story. Keep checking and you may read the story!

Time to sleep! Basketball in the "morning" let's see if I can be top scorer 2 weeks in a row. Maybe shouting 'it's off"' every time I shoot is playing reverse psych with the ball. I'll try it again tomorrow

'You is kind, you is smart, you is important'.