Have fun up there!

I was brought to tears when I read on my Facebook feed this morning that a young boy had lost his battle with cancer on Thursday. His body had been riddled with cancer over the last two years. He wasn't even 4 years old. I didn't know this child but I had been following his journey via the Facebook page his parents had set up. Life is unfair, there's no doubt about it. This kid suffered something that no human being should have to suffer and I ask myself 'Why?'. I don't know why, I'll never know why.

The song below has been on repeat in my head for the last couple of hours. The following lyrics are so powerful when I think about this child.

'I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the Healer collide'

His parents have so much faith in God, for some this must be confusing (and I admit that for a short time it was for me too) when you think about what they have been through. Yet I am assured, just as his parents are, that their child of God is no longer in pain. His story is heartbreaking but faith assures us that he has been set free from the perils of this world. This may sound cliche to you, but know that it is not, for this child has been welcomed into heaven by the the arms of the Lord. Maybe he is resting in peace or maybe he's running around non stop like a lot of little boys do.

For those of us who are stuck in this world of uncertainty regarding our health, let's try our best to keep our chins up.

The P word

I don't know anyone who likes to admit that they have seen this specialist. Maybe it's just an Australian thing, who knows! I think there's this stigma that if you access this service then people see you as if you have no emotional stability and are unable to handle life (rather broad description). I think there is next to no truth in this as I'm pretty sure a lot of us have come to the realization that we can't control a lot of what happens to us in our lives and as this is the case can we have full control on how we feel about certain things? You might say yes but I wouldn't entirely believe you. Different experiences bring different emotions with them and although the way you feel about the same situation might change I beleive there will always be an initial emotional reaction, that we don't choose, that rears its ugly or beautiful head. For example I don't remember being full of joy moments after it was recommended that I should have brain surgery.

Anyway, I realised a month or so ago that over the past 7 months I have been full steam ahead trying to return my life back to whatever normal is. I put 98% of my energy into getting back to work, going to the gym, socializing, gaining my drivers license back and trying to make myself look less like a half shaved two headed zombie, so much so that I tried to push a lot of unwanted emotions away. During my appointment on Monday I was exposed to a way of thinking that explores dealing with clean discomfort and dirty discomfort. Some of you who read this might know all about it but if not and you've done the whole 'I've got no time to feel like this, go away stupid emotion' then maybe check it out.

I'm no expert and never want to be in this field of work so I'll stop there.

Don't think of a pink elephant!*

How'd you go with that?

I failed.

Gut instinct or did you choose not to think of it? ?

See I didn't mention the P word!

Anyway, time to get ready for the second lot of semi finals for Eurovision (yes some of us watch this in Australia and yes we are behind in the broadcast so no spoilers please)

Actually I'd probably prefer to see these guys tonight at the Entertainment Centre (it's sold out dang it)!

* This test might only work if the command is vocal. Like I said, I'm no expert!