Ruhe in Frieden Tassi!

So this morning, as usual, I logged onto the faceybook to scroll through the news feed. I noticed that one of my peers from high school had posted a couple of old photos of him and some mates. Usually I wouldn't think much of this but only a week ago a group of us had caught up for coffee and talked about someone who we went to high school with who had been suffering from cancer over the last couple of years.  This guy with cancer was in these newly posted photos. Due to the fact that our conversation about him was sort of fresh in my mind I wondered if he had passed away. Turns out he has. Whilst I was never close to this guy I am saddened by his passing and I feel for those who were close to him. A week ago I experienced the loss of a close friend so I can relate to the sadness they must be feeling. I was in shock when I found out about my friend. He lives (I'm finding it hard to use past tense) in Germany and I had known him since 2005. I stupidly went to my messages to see the last conversation we had and then ended up scrolling and scrolling back through the messages. I never made it to the beginning because man had we chatted a lot over the last 11 years, we shared our highs and lows with one another. Both times I have been back to Germany I went and saw him. The last time I saw him we agreed we'd see each other again in 2 years time as that seemed to be the reoccurring pattern. That was 4 years ago and then life got in the way, brain tumours got in the way! F*** you brain tumours! He was taken too soon. Life can be a bitch, a cold hearted bitch!

On new years eve I was sent a lovely message that helped me look forward and become partially excited about the year where I hit the big three-oh, this year. I was upbeat & optimistic on new years day and then then that evening, the beginning of this exciting new year, facebook punched me in the gut! Over the last week I've thought about how this is going to influence my year. Initially I said 'great another fucking shit year ahead' but I think about how my friend would approach this situation. Yes he'd cry and stay in bed all day like I did but he'd also not let it stop him from enjoying his whole bloody year. Who would be so stupid?! So I'm going to treasure the moments that are joyous, that are fun and look forward to the moments when you snort because you're laughing so hard. My friend was determined to make the most of life. He faced more obstacles in his life than a lot of us put together but that did not stop him. So whilst my year has not started off in great joy I look forward to the glimmers of hope and I'll take in the moments that remind me how I'm so lucky to be here. Although I'm feeling sad and I know that life is not fair, once again I need to make sure that I make the most of it. I've got a few things I need to do this year!


Here's a soppy John Mayer song to listen to. Says it all really!

Rest in peace Tassi! xoxo